dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
