plz talk dirty to me
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
