hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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