Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
