I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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