somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Soap is not a condiment
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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