So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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