Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize