hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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