i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
