This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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