i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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