do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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