Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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