people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
