every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
