some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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