Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize