I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
