Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
