your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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