We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
