this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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