***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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