I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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