Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
