And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
