hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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