in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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