I don't usually arrange sex via text message
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
