when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
