He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
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