her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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