Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
