I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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