Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
