Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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