god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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