D3 body, D1 cock
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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