Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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