weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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