did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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