Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
