everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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