Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
i out mim tonsoeep
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
