alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Randomize
