Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize