I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
