Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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