I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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