I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
