when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
