I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You were trust falling into bushes
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
