I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
