she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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