yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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