there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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