We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
