why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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