we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Randomize
