he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
