my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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