I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
