So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
