But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
