and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
