Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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