i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
